Whenever an unfortunate incident shakes the society at large, there is a lot of noise….unending debates from both ends, some raising their concerns, while others justifying such incidents. So was the outcome of Atul Subhash Suicide. What our personal understanding is that the problem is not men or women, but the mindset of upholding one’s own interests – by hook or by crook. There is a dire need for gender neutral laws in India, for Atul Subhash is not the first suicide by a husband, and as per reports, it is no more the last, while more men have already given up on their lives. Why did we suggest this? Hereunder, we have explained through several laws which were enacted to protect troubled women, while corrupt practices have twisted the situation, victimizing men across the nation. Take a read and let us know if you feel the same.
Gender Bias in Matrimonial Laws
When we talk about matrimonial laws, it is mostly about laws regarding domestic violence, dowry prohibition, cruelty under IPC 498A (Sections 85 and 86 of BNS), maintenance under BNSS and personal laws, etc. Here, one thing that needs to be highlighted is that victim of domestic violence and cruelty can only be a woman as per law. While giving and taking dowry both are offences, Courts rarely proceed with complaints of dowry by the husband or his family. As for maintenance, while gender neutral provisions are there along with those favouring women, Courts rarely pass orders for the wife to pay maintenance to a husband. Here, it may be noted that when we say women can be victims of specific matrimonial offences, it is not that men cannot be the victims, it’s just that the laws do not consider or recognize them as the victims.
Understanding Gender Stereotypes in Matrimonial Disputes
Let’s understand this with examples – Tia and Tarun decided to get married to each other, wherein Tarun’s is a simple middle class family and Tia comes from a rich and influential family.
- If Tarun’s family even asks for a bed for the newly wed couple in the name of family customs, it will be considered as dowry, but if Tia’s family asks for a big fat wedding just because Tia wants one as celebrities do, there is no law which would favour the man’s middle class family oppressed by the wedding expenses.
- While being married, Tia may demand expensive things from Tarun, making him pay for all the luxuries that he may not be able to afford and may have to take loans. All of these are counted as husband duties. But if, at all Tarun complains that Tia does not do a single household work or does not contribute to any of the expenses, this may turn into cruelty or even dowry demand as per laws.
- During marriage, if Tia punches or slaps Tarun when she gets angry, there is no law which could help Tarun against this violence behind closed doors. However, if Tarun holds Tia’s arm tightly just to restrain her from punching him, Tarun may have to face charges of domestic violence.
- During marriage, Tarun earned 50,000 per month, managed all the household expenses and Tia’s needs, while Tia earned 1 lakh per month and did not contribute a single penny for her matrimonial home. In case of separation or pending Court cases, Tarun will most likely be ordered by Courts to pay maintenance for Tia.
- In case Tia agreed for amicable separation, Tarun will still have to pay a hefty amount as alimony just to get rid of a spoiled marriage, and avoid false cases.
Even while the law regarding maintenance may provide that husband and wife both may be liable to seek maintenance from their spouse, the society, Courts and all stakeholders of Legal System require the man to pay for the wife. Even if the wife initially agrees for mutual divorce without any alimony, it will be most likely that the lawyers or even Judges would help change her decision and seek money from her husband. Thus, unless it is an extreme circumstance when the husband is not earning and physically disabled, while the wife is earning, the Court may order vice versa. Otherwise, it is always the husband paying for the wife’s expenses even if she ceases to be his wife.
Maintenance Laws
In our society, a woman has the choice of whether she opts to become a working woman or a homemaker. Even if she is a homemaker, she can have domestic workers to help with most of the chores while she passes instructions. While there is nothing wrong in the latter part, there are women who are not even interested in participating in any household chores but scrolling their phones day and night. On the contrary, a man is supposed to earn no matter what, regardless of whether he is more interested in household chores, whether he is not physically unwell.
When it comes to matrimonial disputes, the same man is asked to pay money to his wife, whether on monthly basis during pendency of cases, or one-time settlement for mutual divorce. Here, what we wish to highlight is that the woman may not at all have supported her husband financially or for homely tasks, but the husband cannot get away from the financial duties, whether he is happily married or seeking mental peace through divorce.
There is a need for gender neutral laws in terms of maintenance so that Courts weigh upon the role played by the spouses in their marriages, and not just the gender stereotypes where a man has to pay for expenses. The woman should also be liable in one way or the other in the name of responsibilities after marriage. Because marriage is not just a game of dress-up, shopping, outings, there are lots of responsibilities, which are often ignored because stereotypes suggest that women in the past have thrown themselves in the responsibilities of kitchen and kids. That is not anymore the fact in every case.
Why do we need gender-neutral laws in marriage?
When a person approaches the Court seeking divorce, whether contested or mutual, the laws as well as Courts give ample chances for the couple to reconcile. The reason is that marriage is considered a sacred union in India, which should not be allowed to end on whims and fancies. It is high time that the same aspect be applied to other matrimonial laws. Because once a husband and his family are harassed in the name of false cases of dowry or domestic violence, there is no chance the couple would reconcile out of love. Thus, to uphold the sacred union, there is need for gender neutral laws in India, so that misuse of such laws is at least controlled.
The current scenario makes it more of a business where a woman may marry with the preconceived notion that she will live on her own terms and make her husband and family agree to those terms and act accordingly. If they do not comply, she has several weapons in the name of matrimonial laws, which will help threaten the in-laws, and also bring a lot of money in the name of maintenance/alimony even if she ends up getting divorced. Such a scope of transforming family relations into money making formulae may be good for business minds, but not at all safe for the society in the longer run.
Gender Bias in Sexual Crimes
If we look at it, there are crimes including sexual harassment under POCSO Act wherein, the laws recognize commision of sexual crimes against males, till the age of 18 years. According to the POCSO Act, a male can be a victim of sexual offences, but only till the age of 18 years. Because beyond that, the then Indian Penal Code, or current Bharatiya Nyaya Sanhita majorly regulates sexual crimes. However, there is no provision under the BNS which recognizes males as victims of such crimes. If it is the offence of rape, outraging modesty, sexual harassment, voyeurism, stalking, etc., only a woman can be a victim. Are we suggesting that men cannot be victims of sexual crimes once they cross the age of 18 years?
It may be noted that there have been several instances when Courts found out that false FIRs for sexual crimes were made just to blackmail the accused for money or to settle scores for something personal. In fact, a woman was recently found to have time and again lodged multiple false cases of rape against different men to make money, and was punished by the Court. When a person is arrested for sexual crimes, it is harder to get bail as well, and the incident takes a toll on the social reputation of the accused person, while it takes years to be acquitted in such cases.
Sexual Harassment at Workplace
To encourage protection of women at workplace, the POSH Act – Sexual Harassment of Women at Workplace (Prevention, Prohibition and Redressal) Act, 2013 was introduced. As the terms suggest, it is only women who are protected under the POSH laws. If a man faces sexual harassment at workplace, he cannot do anything but endure the injustice. On the other hand, there are cases when false complaints are made by women against men for sexual harassment, which eventually leads to an innocent man losing his job, and also enduring a negative impact on his career.
Outcomes of False Cases
Throughout we discussed laws which are otherwise meant to protect women against particular societal menace, being misused by targeting innocent men, just for personal gains. It is crucial to note that the need for gender neutral laws in India arose from similar instances which ruin the lives of innocent men. If you wonder if such women misusing laws are punished, the answer is rarely yes. Why? Because Courts have significantly ruled that even if a case of domestic violence, rape, etc. is not duly proved or found to be false, the complainant woman should not be punished, fearing that other women who are the real victims of such crimes may be discouraged from taking any legal action. This approach does not even let the victimised husbands or men to take action against the woman misusing laws, because the legal system does not support it at all.
Why is there a need for Gender Neutral Laws in India?
We are living in an era where men like Atul Subhash are killing themselves, leaving behind handwritten letters and recorded videos to speak out and let the world know about their sufferings. That is because when they are still alive, the society and the entire legal system runs on the presumption that being a man, he cannot be the victim but a perpetrator. What we believe is that a criminal is not a man or a woman, it is a human with ill actions. Similarly, a victim is not a man or a woman, but a human who suffers due to the actions of another. With gender neutral laws in India, we believe that women ill-treating their husbands or in-laws will be under the same fear as husbands and in-laws should be following the law of cruelty and domestic violence. It will be similar for all other laws, where misuse of laws will also be under check.
